Crush
by Kazuki-Rina
Summary: You'll always be my first and last crush. A birthday gift to a special friend of mine, sweetknife55! Story read from Hanayo's POV. Based ona song called "Crush" by Yuna ft. Usher.


**A birthday gift for a friend of mine, sweetknife55~! Since she's a hardcore shipper of MakoPana (Makoto X Hanayo), so I thought, what's better than a birthday gift of this fluff? Enjoy~!**

 **Disclaimer** : I do not own the characters from both Love Live and Ensemble Stars. All characters belongs to their original creator. I merely own the story of this fanfic.

* * *

It all started when my fingers suddenly began typing out a simple, short message.

' _Let's hang out today?_ '

And almost instantly, my fingers made its' way to press the 'Send' button to him. Yes, him. A man who goes by the name Makoto. Letting out a sigh, I tapped on a picture of his Profile Picture. Just by looking at his face made my heart beats hard against my chest. Silently, I prayed for an answer that I wanted to hear.

The soft vibrate coming from my phone immediately caught my attention as I took it back into my hands. It was a reply. A short, simple reply from him that was enough to make me smile.

' _I'll see you in a few minutes ;)_ '

 **You call me on a lazy afternoon  
Asking me what I'm up to  
Let's find something to do  
Baby I'd be down, down, down  
Down, down, down, down, down, down  
You know I'd be down, down, down  
Down, down, down, down, down, down**

It didn't took me long to get ready. After I changed out of my casual clothes, I took one last look of my appearance in the mirror. No matter how much I looked at myself, I never failed to tell myself that I was no longer a teenager. I've grown up. I was no longer the same shy girl that I used to be. No longer the same anxious, nervous girl like before. I'm now an independent young woman, living all by herself in her own apartment.

"That's why..." I mumbled out, grasping both of my hands close to my heart. "...Please give me the courage today."

 **I see you arriving in your car, yeah  
Jet black Mercedes, built in the 70s  
Classic like you and me  
I'll be coming down, down, down  
Down, down, down, down, down, down  
I'll be coming down, down, down  
Down, down, down, down, down, down**

Once I walked out of the building, my eyes laid upon a familiar blond male, leaning on his car. Yuuki Makoto, my high school crush. Even after we've graduated, my feelings for him remained. And what's more, the fact that we were growing closer than ever since then, made this feeling inside of me stronger than ever. It was impossible to throw it away.

Once I walked closer to him, he finally looked over my direction. A smile suddenly appeared on his face. His smile. Just the smile alone was enough to make my heart beats hard. Knowing that that smile was directed to me, the beating went even harder then it was before.

"Hey there, Hanayo-chan." he greeted. Controlling myself, I smiled at him.

"Hello, Makoto-kun." Without saying anything else, he already lead me to the passenger seat and opened the door for me. Once we're both inside his car, we stayed in silence.

"So, anywhere is fine?" he asked, as if he knew what I was thinking. I couldn't stop myself from giggling. After all, I did asked him out without planning anything AGAIN. But then, it has always been this way. Even he had gotten used to it too.

"Yeah, as usual." I replied, looking back at the front as I avoided his gaze. If I continued looking at him any longer, I knew deep down I wouldn't be able to handle it. I could hear him chuckling from beside me as I glanced sideways.

"Well, then. I know just the place for today." he said as he turned on the engine on his car before driving us off.

 **I feel a little rush  
I think I've got a little crush on you  
I hope it's not too much  
But babe when I'm with you, I hear it  
My heart singing  
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la-la  
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la-la**

This so-called 'hang out' had become a part of our daily life before we knew it. We would just go out, picked any random place and have fun. Simple. And yet, satisfying. Just knowing that we could spend our time together anywhere was good enough as a purpose.

It's funny when I think about it. Back in high school, I didn't even had the courage to stay in one place alone together with him. The same goes for him. He was never really good with talking to girls, even to a shy girl like me back then. But now, look at us. We're sitting next to each other, neither fazed nor anxious with each others' presence. We were both comfortable with each other even when none of us were speaking up. The silence itself felt nice. As if we could still understand each other without talking.

These whole idea of hanging out began right after I moved into my current apartment. It was actually thanks to him that I could find a moderate apartment to live. Somehow, he took it upon himself to take care of me, despite being just friends. He gave me support when I needed it, he helped me out when I had trouble and even came to see me just to make sure I was getting used to live in the apartment.

I could still remembered what he told me when I asked why would he go so far for me.

" _That is...a secret~_ "

To be honest, I have a feeling I knew what it was, but...it's better if I don't expect too much from it.

Ever since then, we began hanging out more. Going to parks, to the cafes, to the amusement park and we even went to a library several times. It was certainly a weird place to hang out but, it was fun as any other places too. Just reading some books and sharing stories with each other. Talking about our lives that we never shared with each other before. Although it was a pretty bad idea to tell a joke or funny stories in there. The librarian wouldn't stop looking at us suspiciously. Even still...

It felt nice.

The fact that we've bonded through these so-called 'hang out' moments, it made these outings precious in my life. After all, it's the only way for me to get closer to him.

 **Honestly I shouldn't waste time no more, eh yeah  
'Cause all these little boys you're chasing, did they break your heart?  
I know you've been down, down, down  
Down, down, down, down, down, down  
I won't let you down, down, down  
Down, down, down, down, down, down**

Today, Makoto drove us to a part of the town that I've never been before. Turns out that he wanted to show me a new cafe that was recently opened. I seriously wondered sometimes, just how did he found all these different places? He always seemed liked he knew where to go or what exactly what we were going to do today. Then again, they didn't call him the 'Informant' back in high school for nothing. Even in town, he was a good information gatherer.

"This cafe felt nice too~" I cast a smile at the blond male beside me as we went outside the cafe.

"I know right?" he grinned at me. I could feel a heat slowly raising up on my face when I saw his grin. I swear, his smiles and grins were contagious. Walking ahead, I made my way to where he parked his car, trying to calm myself from my racing heart. That was until I felt a grip around my wrist, pulling me back as I faced him again.

"Hey, we're not done yet, you know? There's more to this place than meets the eye. Because, you know. I did my research~" he said.

Surprised and yet, not so surprised, I knew he wasn't done yet. In fact, I did wished we had other places to go. Despite my heart beating so fast right now from his touch, I gave him a smile and nodded my head. Like I've said, he was called an 'Informant' for a reason.

 **I feel a little rush  
I think I've got a little crush on you  
I hope it's not too much  
But girl when I'm with you, I hear it  
My heart singing  
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la-la  
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la-la, hey**

The orange sky above us served as a sign to us that it was getting late. It also served as a sign that we had to go now. Despite the fun times we've spend today, it was time for both of us to go home. It was always at this moment where I started wishing that time would stop and just rewound itself for both of us. However, reality was harsh. Everything always has an end.

Once we were in his car, we didn't say anything. We sat in silence. He already turned up the engine but didn't do anything else. I wondered what was wrong. Although, I was pretty much sure that I knew what he was thinking as well. None of us wanted it to end. None of us wanted to go back yet. Not long after that, he gave me a smile.

"There's one more place I'd liked to show you first before I send you back."

 **I see you the same  
I see it in the way that you behave around me  
And I can't tell  
What we have is different from anyone else  
'Cause you stop doing what you're doing  
When I call you come to me running  
And I would do the same for you  
So tell me that you feel it too, woah**

"Doesn't it feel nice?" he asked as he walked down the sandy beach, gripping my hand as we walked side by side. I could only nodded my head as a response as we both went and enjoyed the sea wind blowing on us. The sun had already set long ago, painting the sky dark with stars twinkling above. The beach was already empty by that time. Everyone had gone home, except for us.

It was certainly weird. We were so close to each other and yet, none of us were ready to cross the line. The way he gripped my hand, it almost felt like we were a thing. But the truth was, we weren't.

"Hey, Hanayo-chan."

He stopped walking which caught my attention. Looking up at him, I saw him staring back at me with a smile.

"I...really liked spending my time like this with you." he said as he gripped his hand on me, trembling slightly. He cast his gaze downwards, casting a shadow over his face. With the dark sky and everything, it was difficult for me to see his face properly.

"That's why... I really appreciate this outing between us. I..." he finally lifted his face up and faced me. He looked like he had something to say. He seemed hesitant to say it. I was so caught up to what he was trying to say that I failed to notice both of his hands clasped with mine. He was trembling and I could tell that I was trembling too.

' _Please say it..._ ' a thought ran in my mind. I really want to hear you say it.

Not long after that, the trembling stopped. He let out a sigh before he faced me once again, with a sad smile this time.

"I...forgot what I want to say. Sorry about that~ Ahahaha..." he let out a nervous laugh as he scratched the back of his neck. I stared at him with a slightly wide open eyes. But eventually, I started laughing along with him.

To be honest, that was very cruel of you. Raising my hopes up and then just slammed it down. But then again, it was partly my fault too. For expecting it. I knew you couldn't bring yourself to say it yet. I knew you too well. Besides, I really liked that nervous side of you. It was one of the reason why I'm attracted to you. For now, I'll forgive you for that.

 **I feel a little rush  
I think I've got a little crush on you (little crush on you)  
I hope it's not too much, oh ho  
But babe when I'm with you, I hear it  
My heart singing  
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la-la (ooh yeah baby, my heart singing)  
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la-la, oh**

"Thank you for today." I spoke up once we arrived back at my apartment. All of the rooms in the building were lit up except for mine. I really didn't want to go back yet. But time wouldn't wait for me to go on first.

"Yeah, it's no problem. If it's for you Hanayo-chan, I'll be glad to bring you anywhere..." he said.

Surprised, I stared at him. Really now. There you go again, talking like that. If you kept on doing that, I might not be able to hold on anymore. In fact...

"Makoto-kun..."

I called out his name, catching his attention to me. My voice hitched. I couldn't say the rest of the words that I planned on saying to him. He was looking at me, waiting for me to continue my sentence. Letting out a sigh, I decided not to say it.

' _In the end, I couldn't say it too..._ ' I thought mentally, disappointed with my own self.

He looked sad. I wonder. Was he experiencing the same feeling as I did at the beach? If so, please don't be sad. I may not be able to say it, but it doesn't have to be in words. And if words can't help me, then I'll give something else. In fact, I'll give you a proof. A proof of my affection.

I leaned in close to his face and kissed his cheek lightly. I could feel him tensed up from the contact. Pulling away, I stare at him, waiting for his response.

"H-Hanayo-chan...? W-Why?" he asked, looking more flustered than he used to be. Giggling slightly, I opened the door and went out, not before I peeked in and gave him one, last smile for today.

"Good night, Makoto-kun."

 **I think I've got a crush, babe  
Crush on you too  
Feel a little rush, baby  
And I feel it too  
I think I've got a crush, babe  
Crush on you too  
Feel a little rush, baby**

Fatigued slowly enveloped me as I finished changing into my sleepwear. Just like any other days, today's outing was as satisfying as the others.

"Although I couldn't bring myself to tell him yet..."

But it was fine. I'm content with what I have at the moment. Just being able to stay beside him was good enough. As much as I wanted to tell him, how much I loved him, how much I want him, I'm sure he knew most of them already.

For now, I'll wait. I'll wait as much as you need to because no matter what happens, you'll always be my first and last crush.


End file.
